A collection of comical poems dedicated to ultras, hooligans and fanatics written on a long, hot train ride through a distant land with no internet access for its entirety. Enjoy.

There once was a fan from Cologne

Who followed his team Rome.

But crossing the border “Return!” was his order

Without hesitation back home.

There once was a fan from Seville

Who tried to take on the old bill.

His plan quickly failed. They took him to gael

And he’s still in there against his will.

There once was a fan from Marseille

Who went for the first time away.

The hools in the curve, they tested his nerve

And haven’t seen him to this day.

There once was a fan from Port Vale

Whose pyro show quickly failed.

Straight after, arrested. He cried and protested

And now he’s trying to make bail.

There once was a fan from Split

Who started a fight with a Brit

“Pushover” he thought, but poorly he fought

And was beaten 10 bells of shit.

There once was a fan from Ghent

Who gave up Football for Lent.

But after a week, his will became meek

And off to the game he went.

There once was a fan from Brest

Who thought his firm was the best.

Unbeaten they stayed till 1 night away

His theory was laid to rest.

There once was a fan from Rostock

Who tried to take over the block.

A breeze in his eyes but to his surprise

The ultras were hard as a rock.

There once was a fan from Lille

With absolute nerves of steel.

He ran out of luck, in prison was stuck,

And his sentence is under appeal.

There once was a fan from Nice

Who tried to take on the police.

Vengeance the treasure, but to his displeasure

The rozzers had turned up in peace.

fbtg