A collection of comical poems dedicated to ultras, hooligans and fanatics written on a long, hot train ride through a distant land with no internet access for its entirety. Enjoy.
There once was a fan from Cologne
Who followed his team Rome.
But crossing the border “Return!” was his order
Without hesitation back home.
There once was a fan from Seville
Who tried to take on the old bill.
His plan quickly failed. They took him to gael
And he’s still in there against his will.
There once was a fan from Marseille
Who went for the first time away.
The hools in the curve, they tested his nerve
And haven’t seen him to this day.
There once was a fan from Port Vale
Whose pyro show quickly failed.
Straight after, arrested. He cried and protested
And now he’s trying to make bail.
There once was a fan from Split
Who started a fight with a Brit
“Pushover” he thought, but poorly he fought
And was beaten 10 bells of shit.
There once was a fan from Ghent
Who gave up Football for Lent.
But after a week, his will became meek
And off to the game he went.
There once was a fan from Brest
Who thought his firm was the best.
Unbeaten they stayed till 1 night away
His theory was laid to rest.
There once was a fan from Rostock
Who tried to take over the block.
A breeze in his eyes but to his surprise
The ultras were hard as a rock.
There once was a fan from Lille
With absolute nerves of steel.
He ran out of luck, in prison was stuck,
And his sentence is under appeal.